Too much Dostoevsky.

• Pier Paolo Pasolini
• Ingmar Bergman
• Luis Buñuel

Finally, a list of directors I need to investigate further. Sure, it's short, but that's life. Or is it? All three deal with that, perhaps. What "that" refers to is hardly your business, anyway.

Buñuel does surrealist movies, which obviously appeal to me. I don't remember where exactly I read about him, but I somehow link him with Pasolini, which is obviously a good thing.

Bergman does crazy bleak movies, so far as I can tell. My sister has watched some of his movies, though I'm not sure what she thought. It's been a while.

Pasolini... where to start? "If you know that I am an unbeliever, then you know me better than I do myself. I may be an unbeliever, but I am an unbeliever who has a nostalgia for a belief." He did a movie version of 120 Days Of Sodom. Do I need to elaborate? I don't think so.

What is the point of life? Why bother? We die. Life is pointless, life is ridiculous, it doesn't make any sense. We're all thoughtlessly cruel. Nothing lasts. Everything changes. Why should death, then, be any different? Fearing death is no healthier than... questioning the point of life, I suppose, and I try to stick to one "philosophical" vice at a time. It's quite healthier that way.

I desperately want to watch The City Of Lost Children, but maybe I need to stop exposing myself to so many bleak things. Too much Dostoevsky, too much Coil, too much goddamn Leonard Cohen. I'd believe in Lenny over Jesus Christ any day, thanks. Bleak, but honest. And beautiful. I suppose I lack a certain "joie de vivre" that's necessary to really do anything for the sheer fun of it. It's always possible I will turn out to be one of those wacky geniuses, but I'm probably doomed to a life of mediocrity. That's just how it goes, really. Whatever I do will be for myself, and it will make me... happy. That's really all I can ask for.

No, no, Twice Upon A Time is hardly bleak, and I think The Mouse And His Child isn't either. Either that or everything's bleak. Certainly anything can be taken as bleak if you try hard enough, but the opposite is also true.

The point of life is to live, I suppose. So live I will. What other choice do I have?

NO MORE PHILOSOPHY FOR ME LOLOLOLOLOL. I'll stick to philolsophy from here on out, thanks.