Luukas has decided that I'm a really cool archconservative.

I'm duly amused.

Luukas is really cool. He's the guy who thought he'd solved free will when he was drunk, okay? Do I need to elaborate? I think not.

Actually, I'm pretty tickled by the fact that all of my sister's friends think I'm just super-cool. I haven't even met most of them. Am I arguing, though? No way!

Ah, today is a good day. Except for the fact that my sister has been 20 for aboutish a whole day. I mean, yikes!

Oh, the places you'll go... to score crack!

Inappropriate Children's Books.

Gay marriage will make your dad pregnant. Thank the Nonexistant Lord for small mercies, eh?

I'm changing my name to Snack Jesus.

Because it's time to start blahgging about food! And buildings. Snap. I don't have anything to say about buildings except for the fact that I did see a Church Of Scientology building. I didn't get any pictures. Sad.

I would make a spectacular Snack Jesus because I like snacks and I like Jesus. OK, so maybe I lied, but only half the time! Seriously. Snacks > Jesus. It's a simple mathematical equation. I'm going to put that on the next calculus test. That'll go over well.

Suddenly I don't want to go to college. I'm completely unprepared. I do know I'll be able to do extraordinarily well once I get the hang of, oh, working, but I almost wish I had worked ridiculously hard in high school. It'd be for no real reason, certainly, but at least I'd be able to be comparatively lazy in college. On the other hand, I don't think working ridiculously hard is a habit I want to have. Not considering how... ah... attached I can get to my habits. It's frequently not pretty.

And overall, I will do fantastically, because... don't I always? Yes, I do. It cannot be denied! I have failed before, and I will again, but I will succeed in the end. I always do. I won't get everything I want. I may not even get everything I need. But I will get enough of what I want and enough of what I need to be utterly satisfied. I used to crave perfection. Now I crave beauty. I am beautiful, and I can be - will be - satisfied with this.

I am doing what I do best. Whatever that is.

Senior Ditch Day

I may or may not be showing up for first period, and I'm probably not showing up for the rest of the day. It's all good.

I must say, I hate people who abuse animals. Nobody has to like animals. Some people just don't like animals, and you know what? That's not a problem. At all. (Okay, I also hate it when people say that everyone should love animals. Note my phrasing.) But you do not kick a sweet indoor house cat. Is it that hard to understand? That's at least as bad as kicking a two year old. At least two year olds have societal protection, for the most part, and animals can't defend themselves against humans that effectively. I don't think I'm that huge of a fan of humanity right now. So many people are completely self-absorbed, self-centered, and selfish. Obviously some degree is human and not at all a bad thing, but seriously, other living creatures have feelings and rights too. Is it that hard to understand? I mean, really now.

I've been listening to a rather obscene amount of Coil recently. Although I love everything I've heard by them, I naturally gravitate towards their first three CDs - Scatology, Horse Rotorvator, and Love's Secret Domain. Scatology is what I would consider the most "industrial" of the three - it's certainly the most spontaneous and alive. It's filled with unexpected, quirky, synthetic electronic noises. Horse Rotorvator is by turns bleak and beautiful, and frequently both. It's haunting, gripping, macabre, deranged, serene music. Perhaps that sounds contradictory, but I assure you, it's not. Love's Secret Domain hides its beauty behind disorganized, chaotic bursts of noise. Plus it sounds like a party! Seriously now, and who cares about anything if it doesn't sound like a party?

...someone buy me Transparent already. Man, I'm going to be broke when I get to buy my own money. It's going to involve "sure, I can spend $130 on a used CD that I already have all the song files for!" Shush, Horse Rotorvator is worth it.

Um. I really want this. Even though it's an LP. I don't care. Does logic play into this? No. Not even a little bit. It's beautiful. Bah, if only I had money. I also kind of want the absinthe release. I'm suddenly really angry that I was born too late to really know Coil when Jhonn Balance was still alive. I'm also really angry that their stuff is so goddamn hard to find. (A lot of good music is hard to find - Current 93, The Legendary Pink Dots, Throbbing Gristle, Psychic TV... yeah, the big-brand bands, whatever.) Oh well! We'll always have the memories.

Speaking of which, there is a difference between being curvy and fat. Curvy involves having your waist-to-hip ratio be about 0.7 or something like that. It actually has a definition. I definitely approve of destigmatizing obesity - how is it anyone's place to judge what weight people are? Yes, being obese is usually bad for your health. So is being severely underweight. It doesn't mean you should be able to comment on either extreme. Or anyone's weight. It's an easy trap to fall into (and I've done it before) but people frequently feel like they can freely comment on weight. Ugh. I think society would be a lot better off if everyone just stopped talking.

Red Letters

I finally got around to listening to Red Letters, and I must say, I really like it. It's not the best CD in the world, but it's utterly charming. I mean, hello, it's by Edward Ka-Spel, which means that it's at least interesting and quirky. Edward Ka-Spel is frequently brilliant, at any rate, and I always find his music peculiarly soothing and (perhaps) enchanting.

And honestly, track 8 (Swamp Thing / Simone Is / Red Letters / Katha) is probably one of the most beautiful, haunting songs I've heard in my entire life. Especially I believe the Simone Is section, though it's very hard to tell which parts of the song correspond to which parts of the title (which I quite like).

More later, when I'm feeling a bit less... whatever.

Is there anything worse than high school?

Serious question. Is there? Because right now, I'm not seeing it.

People need to shut up and listen to classical music.

In fact, I need to take my own advice and do the same thing.

I do have a good working knowledge of whatever classical composers my parents or my sister like, as well as whatever I've managed to pick up on my own (which is very little). I know Mozart, Bach, Chopin, Beethoven, Handel, Haydn, Prokofiev, Rimsky-Korsakov, Segovia, Tchaikovsky, Vivaldi, and quite probably some other composers quite well.

Is this enough? I say no.

...looks like I'm off to go do research on Russian composers, because there ain't nuthin' better than Russians! Ever. (Except maybe Czechs. Oh, choices... so hard.)