I'm fucking textbook case.
That irritates me.
Way mild, though.
I also love Rob Zombie. I'm almost embarrassed by this, but, um, not really. Rob Zombie makes fantastic music. It's really hilarious stuff - you know, that really showy metal crap. With zombies and shit, I think. I don't even know, but it's really fantastic stuff.
"She's a killer! She's a thriller! SPOOKSHOW BABY!"
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Not QUITE the worst day of my life.
But close enough. Blah, blah, blah.
Naw, man, I want to be happy, so I will be. You know why? I have magnificent teeth. Really, really magnificent teeth.
Can I get an amen, sunshine? I thought so.
But. I graduated. I got lots of gorgeous expensive jewelry and $600. I'm rich, baby. Because I'm doing a catsitting job (it pays ridiculously well because she's known me for so long, I guess) and I might be tutoring someone this summer. So I'm going to be rolling in it. I have my own cards. And I have fucking options. I like this. You have no idea how much I like this.
Naw, man, I want to be happy, so I will be. You know why? I have magnificent teeth. Really, really magnificent teeth.
Can I get an amen, sunshine? I thought so.
But. I graduated. I got lots of gorgeous expensive jewelry and $600. I'm rich, baby. Because I'm doing a catsitting job (it pays ridiculously well because she's known me for so long, I guess) and I might be tutoring someone this summer. So I'm going to be rolling in it. I have my own cards. And I have fucking options. I like this. You have no idea how much I like this.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
60 revolutions.
I'm a materialistic capitalist whore and proud of it. That means I get neat stuff if I lie well enough! I like that.
Plus I'm in the UCLA honors program YAAAAAAAAY!
Too bad I hate drunk people. My friend called me and was like "Robertina Gonzalez* I'm in love with you and I'm drunk." That's going to be the best conversation ever, later on. I need to talk to her about something else anyway.
Apparently "it never seemed relevant" isn't a very good excuse for keeping major secrets. It seemed like a good idea at the time...
*name changed to protect... well, myself
Plus I'm in the UCLA honors program YAAAAAAAAY!
Too bad I hate drunk people. My friend called me and was like "Robertina Gonzalez* I'm in love with you and I'm drunk." That's going to be the best conversation ever, later on. I need to talk to her about something else anyway.
Apparently "it never seemed relevant" isn't a very good excuse for keeping major secrets. It seemed like a good idea at the time...
*name changed to protect... well, myself
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Sexuality!
I'm suddenly on a big sexuality kick. Why do people have specific sexualities? What makes the difference? I'm not arguing that it's a conscious choice, but is it completely inborn or is some of it formed by society? Considering how society views non-heterosexuals, how many people pretend to be or even believe themselves to be heterosexual when they aren't?
The really interesting question is this: why does it matter? In a perfect world, we'd all live as we pleased - heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, pansexuals, asexuals, people who just don't care, whatever. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. I know I find the point of view of 100% heterosexuals/homosexuals to be completely confusing. It's hardly fair of me, considering it's (probably) not a conscious choice on their parts, but I can't keep my nose out of their business. I try not to judge them or treat them differently or anything, but it still utterly baffles me! To be fair, no, not utterly - it's a matter of taste, and everyone has different tastes. What I wonder is why we have our specific tastes. (Who votes for therapy? Therapy to make everybody the same! God, maybe I'll write a book about that. Bisexual indoctrination! I need to start working on my countertheories anyway, right?)
I probably ought to tell the Boy that I'm more or less bisexual (er, somewhere in between asexual (though hopefully that'll change at some point, because I guess having a sex drive is lots of fun or something charming along those lines), bisexual (though that seems so limiting), and pansexual (though I don't really know enough to say that yes, I'm attracted to everything), because I'm indecisive like that), because if he doesn't like it I'm not wasting any time on him. I'm tired of feeling like I have to avoid the subject every time some stupid person makes some stupid joke about gay people and bisexual people. Thank you, people in my French class. It'd be one thing if they were funny jokes... oh, and they need to lay off the mentally ill people too. If they aren't going to be funny. Either that or I need a new sense of humor!
It's amazing how relative everything is. Things that I think of as being good and bad are thought of as completely different by other people. It's been driving me up the wall recently. At some point I decided that other people should be able to do as they pleased as long as they didn't make me have to be someone else. I'll change for myself if I want to, and I don't feel like restricting myself. Compromise is fair, yes, but both sides need to compromise. I don't think it's any more fair of me to wander around making other people uncomfortable than it is for them to make me feel uncomfortable. I don't necessarily follow my own belief system, and I probably should take the high road, but honestly, I don't wander around telling people how terrible heterosexuality is all the time, and I don't get all in other people's faces about it. Once other people start getting in my face, all bets are off. And I don't understand how homosexuality threatens people, anyway. It's basically like saying that interracial marriage is wrong. Would we let that fly now? No way. So why is homosexuality so different? I do think that being accepting is important (and that includes being accepting of people who are dreadful human beings), but being accepting of other opinions doesn't mean you have to just let them slide. People, unfortunately, do have to be accountable for their own actions.
Of course, I'll probably change my mind again later. I'm still not sure where I am on judging other people. It's pretty hard to avoid (and I'm not sure if anyone's managed to do so yet!), but it's also kind of pointless. I need to improve my own life and my own choices before I have any room to judge other people's. I mean, mine are pretty terrible a lot of the time. Watch me be wishy-washy!
...I want to get Fidel Castro tattooed on my crotch. Seriously. People crack me up sometimes.
http://cottonandsand.com/sandandcotton/?p=594
The really interesting question is this: why does it matter? In a perfect world, we'd all live as we pleased - heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, pansexuals, asexuals, people who just don't care, whatever. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. I know I find the point of view of 100% heterosexuals/homosexuals to be completely confusing. It's hardly fair of me, considering it's (probably) not a conscious choice on their parts, but I can't keep my nose out of their business. I try not to judge them or treat them differently or anything, but it still utterly baffles me! To be fair, no, not utterly - it's a matter of taste, and everyone has different tastes. What I wonder is why we have our specific tastes. (Who votes for therapy? Therapy to make everybody the same! God, maybe I'll write a book about that. Bisexual indoctrination! I need to start working on my countertheories anyway, right?)
I probably ought to tell the Boy that I'm more or less bisexual (er, somewhere in between asexual (though hopefully that'll change at some point, because I guess having a sex drive is lots of fun or something charming along those lines), bisexual (though that seems so limiting), and pansexual (though I don't really know enough to say that yes, I'm attracted to everything), because I'm indecisive like that), because if he doesn't like it I'm not wasting any time on him. I'm tired of feeling like I have to avoid the subject every time some stupid person makes some stupid joke about gay people and bisexual people. Thank you, people in my French class. It'd be one thing if they were funny jokes... oh, and they need to lay off the mentally ill people too. If they aren't going to be funny. Either that or I need a new sense of humor!
It's amazing how relative everything is. Things that I think of as being good and bad are thought of as completely different by other people. It's been driving me up the wall recently. At some point I decided that other people should be able to do as they pleased as long as they didn't make me have to be someone else. I'll change for myself if I want to, and I don't feel like restricting myself. Compromise is fair, yes, but both sides need to compromise. I don't think it's any more fair of me to wander around making other people uncomfortable than it is for them to make me feel uncomfortable. I don't necessarily follow my own belief system, and I probably should take the high road, but honestly, I don't wander around telling people how terrible heterosexuality is all the time, and I don't get all in other people's faces about it. Once other people start getting in my face, all bets are off. And I don't understand how homosexuality threatens people, anyway. It's basically like saying that interracial marriage is wrong. Would we let that fly now? No way. So why is homosexuality so different? I do think that being accepting is important (and that includes being accepting of people who are dreadful human beings), but being accepting of other opinions doesn't mean you have to just let them slide. People, unfortunately, do have to be accountable for their own actions.
Of course, I'll probably change my mind again later. I'm still not sure where I am on judging other people. It's pretty hard to avoid (and I'm not sure if anyone's managed to do so yet!), but it's also kind of pointless. I need to improve my own life and my own choices before I have any room to judge other people's. I mean, mine are pretty terrible a lot of the time. Watch me be wishy-washy!
...I want to get Fidel Castro tattooed on my crotch. Seriously. People crack me up sometimes.
http://cottonandsand.com/sandandcotton/?p=594
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Huzzah!
"Irrational Pisces are as slippery as the fish that symbolises their sign. They use double-speak and never give a straight answer even if they could. They are sly and non-commital. This bewildering vagueness can trick people to comply with their wishes just as fish get tricked into the fisherman's nets. Never trust them, they will fain innocence in order to get help from others. They are habitually lazy and manipulative. A Piscean will work you to the bone. They are best suited to careers where the work can be delegated ideally as 'the inspector of finished works'."
...they say that like it's a bad thing.
...they say that like it's a bad thing.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Soulseek
Best program ever.
Go look it up.
Pretty pretty music.
I can now say with full authority that live Coil is kind of amazing.
Weeping Cock is kind of amazing. "Oh, he's just gone to release his man-fountain." Or, perhaps, "the bringer of the yellow tide." Huh. Maybe I'll write that sort of novel for moneyyyy. My penname shall be... ALBERTINE WANGELINE. (No more working the polls for me, eh?) No, no, something else. Margaret D'Jamalfna? (No more Coil for me, eh?) Maaaaan. A. B. See? Yeah. I think I'll be A. B. See coz I'm a terrible person like that.
I honestly know someone who paid for her first year of law school by writing a romance novel. I, um, I might actually do that. I like writing. I'm good at it. Sure, it'll atrophy my BRAIN, but it'll be fun. How bad can I make it before people won't buy it?
Also. Not surprisingly enough, Kristen was right about the pronunciation of ocarina. I kind of figured (hey, who OWNS an ocarina?), but I keep forgetting...
Go look it up.
Pretty pretty music.
I can now say with full authority that live Coil is kind of amazing.
Weeping Cock is kind of amazing. "Oh, he's just gone to release his man-fountain." Or, perhaps, "the bringer of the yellow tide." Huh. Maybe I'll write that sort of novel for moneyyyy. My penname shall be... ALBERTINE WANGELINE. (No more working the polls for me, eh?) No, no, something else. Margaret D'Jamalfna? (No more Coil for me, eh?) Maaaaan. A. B. See? Yeah. I think I'll be A. B. See coz I'm a terrible person like that.
I honestly know someone who paid for her first year of law school by writing a romance novel. I, um, I might actually do that. I like writing. I'm good at it. Sure, it'll atrophy my BRAIN, but it'll be fun. How bad can I make it before people won't buy it?
Also. Not surprisingly enough, Kristen was right about the pronunciation of ocarina. I kind of figured (hey, who OWNS an ocarina?), but I keep forgetting...
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I can't resist people who think I'm brilliant.
'tis true, 'tis true.
I also ate my weight in cheese and ice cream (not at the same time, though), so I feel kind of sick. But you know what? I like string cheese. I like McFlurries. And I wanted to eat them. So I did.
I make the best CDs. Even working within strict limitations - no hard industrial, no metal, no punk, nothing that would cause my sister's brain to explode, no Leonard Cohen or other things she knows really well - I selected songs for something that I would be proud to acknowledge as my creation! MY FRANKENSTEIN.
Mmmm, brilliant people. Whatever that means. What is brilliance? I probably should have asked more questions. I have time to figure it out, though. I may not agree, but I approve anyway, goddammit.
Huh. Now I'm fiddling around with the order of the songs as opposed to just picking songs, and I'm not sure exactly how I want it to go. Did I mention how much I love Cocteau Twins? I could marry Cocteau Twins. Just for Persephone. That's pretty much the most ridiculously glorious - or gloriously ridiculous - song in the world.
Actually, I kind of love half these songs. I should just make a CD of songs I adore to death and beyond. Just for myself. I'll bring it in the car always. I will send it to Suzanne and make her love gay people. I have no idea how that will work, but it will. Gloriously.
Glorious is my new pet word. Waaaaaaatchit.
That reminds me as to how much I hate teamwork. HATE. Isn't it supposed to be teaching... cooperation and love for my fellow (iron) man and whatnot? Because teamwork mostly teaches me that daydreaming about stabbing people in the eye is pretty much my only option.
STABBY TIME!
I also ate my weight in cheese and ice cream (not at the same time, though), so I feel kind of sick. But you know what? I like string cheese. I like McFlurries. And I wanted to eat them. So I did.
I make the best CDs. Even working within strict limitations - no hard industrial, no metal, no punk, nothing that would cause my sister's brain to explode, no Leonard Cohen or other things she knows really well - I selected songs for something that I would be proud to acknowledge as my creation! MY FRANKENSTEIN.
Mmmm, brilliant people. Whatever that means. What is brilliance? I probably should have asked more questions. I have time to figure it out, though. I may not agree, but I approve anyway, goddammit.
Huh. Now I'm fiddling around with the order of the songs as opposed to just picking songs, and I'm not sure exactly how I want it to go. Did I mention how much I love Cocteau Twins? I could marry Cocteau Twins. Just for Persephone. That's pretty much the most ridiculously glorious - or gloriously ridiculous - song in the world.
Actually, I kind of love half these songs. I should just make a CD of songs I adore to death and beyond. Just for myself. I'll bring it in the car always. I will send it to Suzanne and make her love gay people. I have no idea how that will work, but it will. Gloriously.
Glorious is my new pet word. Waaaaaaatchit.
That reminds me as to how much I hate teamwork. HATE. Isn't it supposed to be teaching... cooperation and love for my fellow (iron) man and whatnot? Because teamwork mostly teaches me that daydreaming about stabbing people in the eye is pretty much my only option.
STABBY TIME!
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